Nothing is happening

 

 

How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the LORD’s praise,
for he has been good to me.

I am reading this at a very low time.  I want it to be over.  I am tired of this.  How long have I been crying out?  How much longer will I have to wait?  What have I done to deserve this?  Why didn’t certain things happen that could have avoided this?

I am feeling really messed up right now, and I have to admit that death does not seem like a bad alternative to this life right now.  At least then the things of earth will no longer matter so much.

But I know that God has a plan for me.  I know that this time in my life is nothing in comparison to what God has done for me, and will continue to do for me in my life.  My faith, my hope, my trust … it is in His unfailing love.

I am often amazed at how in tune David was to the love of God.  There was no Jesus.  There was no forgiveness without sacrifice.  There was no Savior.  And yet, here is David, professing God’s unfailing love, and knowing of God’s forgiveness.

“My heart rejoices in your salvation … for [You] have been good to me”

Thanks for listening, I needed to cry this one out.